MARRIED PEOPLE TEND TO BE HEALTHIER THAN SINGLE PEOPLE

TALKING ABOUT CHRONIC HEALTH PROBLEMS

Married people tend to be healthier than single people. But what happens when a marriage ends? New research shows that when married people become single again, whether by divorce or a spouse’s death, they experience much more than an emotional loss. Often they suffer a decline in physical health from which they never fully recover, even if they remarry. And in terms of health, it’s not better to have married and lost than never to have married at all. Middle-age people who never married have fewer chronic health problems than those who were divorced or widowed.

The findings, from national study of 8,652 men and women in their 50s and early 60s, suggest that the physical stress of marital loss continues long after the emotional wounds have healed. While this does not mean that people should stay married at all costs, it does show that marital history is an important indicator of health, and that the newly single need to be especially vigilant about stress management and exercise, even if they remarry. “When your spouse is getting sick and about to die or your marriage is getting bad and about to die, your stress levels go up,” said Linda Waite, a Sociology Professor at the University of Chicago and an Author of the study, which appears in the September issue of The Journal of Health and Social Behavior. “You’re not sleeping well, your diet gets worse, you can’t exercise, you can’t see your friends. It’s a whole package of awful events.”

The health benefits of marriage, documented by a wealth of research, appear to stem from several factors. Married people tend to be better off financially and can share in a spouse’s employer health benefits. And wives, in particular, act as gatekeepers for a husband’s health, scheduling appointments and noticing changes that may signal a health problem.

Spouses can offer logistical support, like taking care of children while a partner exercises or shuttling a partner to and from the doctor’s office. But in the latest study, researchers sought to gauge the health effects of divorce, widowhood and remarriage in a large cohort of people over time. Among the 8,652 people studied, more than half were still married to their first spouse. About 40 percent had been divorced or widowed; about half of that group were remarried by the time of the study. About 4 percent had never married.

Overall, men and women who had experienced divorce or the death of a spouse reported about 20 percent more chronic health problems like heart disease, diabetes and cancer, compared with those who had been continuously married.

Previously married people were also more likely to have mobility problems, like difficulty climbing stairs or walking a meaningful distance. While remarrying led to some improvement in health, the study showed that most married people who became single never fully recovered from the physical declines associated with marital loss. Compared with those who had been continuously married, people in second marriages had 12 percent more chronic health problems and 19 percent more mobility problems.

BACKGROUND CHECKS

The big controversy now in online dating is the background check dilemma. Many of the states are beginning to suggest legislation that would require online dating websites to perform background checks on its members or state if they do not. This is creating quite a stir in the online dating world and with members both for and against the online date background checking rules.

The complete controversy began when the online dating scene was still fresh. This happened with a website that signed an exclusive contract with the Internet’s largest background checking service so that members could be sure that they were not conversing with the criminals. This at first may seem like a good idea since it will protect online daters from sharing personal information with people that have been known for sexual offenders or have committed fraud or other types of criminal acts. However this website than began pushing legislation that would require online dating websites to perform background checks.

This website has an exclusive contract and they would then force other websites to use more expensive background checking tools, and so the subscription fees would be more expensive. This would be controversial and also created a lot of free advertising for the initial background checking website. To say the least, it was a way to rise above the competition. This however, did not come to light until many politicians had already jumped on with the background checking idea.

Checking a person’s background can be a good thing. It can prevent online scams from reoccurring and help people feel safe about using online dating websites. However it is also a type of invasion of privacy and many people will avoid online dating websites because they do not want a background check and people do change.

This is a situation that will be sure to be in the news for many years to come. There are already a few states that passed a law that will require background checks. Users and online dating websites do have mixed feeling about this and before you say your opinion you should be sure to understand both sides of the argument. Making background checks mandatory could create a better online dating service for everyone. However it could also mean that the free services would no longer be available and subscription services would be more expensive than they are now. To learn more about the online dating website background checks that are out there in your state, you need to contact your local legislator’s office and ask about multiple questions. You should voice your opinion and you can create change.

FREE VS PAID ONLINE DATING SERVICES

Why would you pay to use the online dating website if you can get it somewhere else for free? There is a simple answer to this and it is that you do not receive the same services for free and it is not likely that you will. Just as you need to commit yourself to a relationship before you get the “free milk,” you also need to commit yourself to paying for a service in order to get every possible benefit that online dating has to offer. Before you pay anything, you need to be sure that the website is what you really want in online dating.

The free online services have many advantages and the most important is that they require no out of pocket expenses. However because they are free and anyone can use the services, children may also be exposed. When you have to pay for online dating services it cuts out everyone that is not serious bout finding someone to have a relationship with online. It is also a way to make sure that you are speaking to someone that is at least 18 years old. You need to have a credit card to be able to pay for the online service. However there will still be ways that kids can get around this, but why put out an effort if they have free options to choose from?

The online dating services that charge you a subscription fee can also be a scam. However it is important to know what you are paying for and you need to read the terms and conditions very carefully so that your credit card is not charged very high fees. The Better Business Bureau can help to alert you to websites that may be a scam and steal credit card numbers. You have to be sure that you are paying for a service that is well known and safe.

You should also be aware of how to cancel services. These online dating websites will usually renew subscriptions on a certain day of the month, and it can be difficult to find on their website how to cancel your subscription. You have to be sure that you understand this before you sign up for it.

Online dating websites are a good benefit no matter if you pay for them or not. It is certain that you should use the kind of site that fits your best personal needs. The more serious daters should have a better chance at finding what they want on a site that that has fesses due. The mild is not even usually free for anyone.

MEETING SAFELY

When you are able to hold different conversations with someone online, you may both decide that meeting in real life would be good. A lot of date options are available to help break the ice. However it is important to remember that you must put your safety first. Both people but especially females should be exceptionally careful when they are meeting strangers. No matter how long you have spoken online, you have to remember that it is still someone that you do not know well enough to trust in certain situations. Use common sense when you are meeting someone in person for the first time ever.

First, you should suggest that the date take place in a very public area. Restaurants are a great place to start and give you a chance to talk to more than a movie date will. You can also suggest that you go to other public places as long as they are not too secluded. Concerts work well for example but walks in the park are not recommended since there are often wooded areas in which your date and you will be alone.

You should also suggest a date that will occur during the daytime rather than at night. You will be able to see one another much better and it is less dangerous and less likely that a predator could victimize you in the daytime since there are other people around. In either case, always find a good common meeting ground for your date. It is dangerous to get into a car with someone that you have not met. Remember that it is easy to lie online. It is easy to continue to lie in person as well. You have to get to know the person as well as his or her friends, family and co-workers so that you can learn to have trust in each other.

You should also try a group date. Invite one or two of your friends and have your date do the same. You can then go to a number of places such as an amusement park or a shopping mall. Your friends will then carefully monitor the situation so that you are sure to be safe. There is always safety in numbers. If you are not taking your friends, you should tell someone where you are going and when you should be back. Always carry a cell phone to be sure.

When you are feeling more comfortable with a person you can move on to more secluded dates. However remember to keep your guard up at all times until you know the person in real life as well as online. Many people will become victims of rape, kidnap, and even murder all the time and a number of situat8ions stem from predators meeting their victims online. Use good common sense when you are meeting someone for the first time so that you are not another statistic to read about.

YOUR PROFILE

There are many online sites that will include counters so that you may see how many viewers look into your page every day. Some of the sites will even make the information public, that is when they will post your information for everyone to see. This will go without saying that the longer that you are a member the higher your number of views will be. However you may have noticed that others who may seem to be similar to you countless views every day while you simple get one or two of them. If you are serious about online dating and it is important to understand why you are not getting a large number of the views, you need to correct the problems. The more that view your profile, the more likely you will be to meet someone with the relationship that you want.

First of all, you will need to grab a person’s attention. Be certain that you have a location picked out so that when people use the search option based on location your name will appear on their list. Find out what the information is listed when you perform a search. Many dating websites will give the users the option to create a “headline” for their profiles and this as well as age and location is given to the searcher and they can choose to click on your name and continue on to your profile.

You should be sure that you have a picture uploaded. Many of the people will only consider contacting people who post pictures. If you do not have a picture on your profile, you will arouse suspicions of the other online daters. Otherwise it will seem like you have to hide. Any picture even if you consider one that is not so flattering, is better than none at all.

You should always write a creative headline and always worry about your user name. The headline “looking for a date” may not get many good views based on its generic qualities. However a headline like “Anyone want to go golfing?” shows that you have different interests and are up for a possible real life meeting. Your user name will work in much of the same way. Joel 123 will never get as many messages as EaglesFan2003. Make sure that your name and headline say something that you want them to know. However bring attention in a good way and stay away from disgusting sexual names and phrases, which are unattractive to most users and will show you in a light that may not be right.

As a final step, you need to reply to messages that you receive even if you are not interested. Many sites will list the percentages of messages that are viewed and how often you reply. Someone who sees that you only view 20% of your messages and even further only rely to 8% of them may be discouraged from giving you a message. However if you view 100% of your messages and reply to 85% of them, he or she may not be so shy.

You need to be honest, responsive, and creative. With some hard work your profile can gain the popularity that you see some others have. The more views that you get will mean that the more likely you are to meet online daters that have similar interests as you do. It is in your best interest to create an attention getter for your profile.

Sex after divorce can be intimidating

a new partner can mean a new bed, a new body, and new — well — techniques. Usually, though, the hardest part is just becoming psychologically ready to date again. After that, you're likely to find that the old riding a bike analogy applies to other leisure activities as well. That being said, there's a lot you can work on all by yourself to improve your sex life.

There's a certain appeal to the art of light-hearted self-improvement. The stakes are low — if you promise to buy yourself a cute vibrator and you never get around to it, so what? In that spirit, here is a list of sexual self-improvers for the new you.

1. If you've been faking it, cut that right out: Just quit it. If you're tired of the action, why not just say "We can stop now?" And if you feel the need to prop up a sagging ego (not your own), maybe it's time to wonder why you don't feel comfortable just telling the truth, or to start going out with someone who doesn't require that sort of bolstering.

2. Try something new: As simple as leaving the light on or as complicated as joining a special interest club and buying a whole new wardrobe.

3. Learn about something new: Even if you're not sure you want to try it. A great deal of our "Ew, gross, nobody should ever do that" reaction to unusual practices comes more from their novelty than from any real inherent heinousness. That, and from our tendency to assume the worst. So much of so-called kinky sex is not only utterly harmless but rather endearingly nerdly in practice, but there's no way to know this without risking at least a little exposure. Web-surfing is safe!

15 LOVE TIPS YOU MUST KNOW

1. To love abundantly, and to love forever is to live forever.

2. Love is the doorway through which the human soul passes from selfishness to service and

from solitude to kinship with all mankind.

3. Love is the fire of life, it either consumes or purifies.

4. To love abundantly, and to love forever is to live forever.

5. Love is the only service that power cannot command and money cannot buy.

6. Love spends his all, and still hath store.

7. Of all earthly music that which reaches farthest into heaven is the beaten of a truly loving heart.

8. We walk among worlds unrealized until we have learned the secret of love.

9. Love is not or isn't like a reservior, you'll never drain it dry. It's much more like a natral spring. The longer and the farther it flows, the stronger and the deeper and the dearer it becomes.

10. Our affections are our life. We live by them. They supply our warmth.

11. We are all born for love ... It is the principle of existence and it's only end.

12. Instead of allowing youself to be so unhappy, just let your love grow as God want it to grow, seek goodness in others, love more persons more; love them more impersonally, more unselfishly without thought of return. The return, never fear, will take care of it self.

13. If you would love, love and be lovable.

14. We are shaped and fashioned by what we love

15. Sex is not love, and can never be! Lovers of sex are bodly lovers. Love and true love is from the heart